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By Sam Zanahar (2010)
For millennia, marriages between men and women were much more than liaisons for sexual pleasure. They were unions to tackle the challenges of everyday life. And they were unions of economic necessity.
It is only in the modern world that the challenges of everyday life have been simplified to a degree that makes it viable for anybody to just live alone. As a result, marriages are increasingly viewed as unions for sexual pleasure.
Unfortunately, the fact that marriages are increasingly viewed as unions for sexual pleasure does not bode well for the typical female life plan of staying with one man forever. And the problem is not so much with the female partner, because for women, the idea of having one partner for sexual pleasure all life is rather comfortable, even if in reality, there may be infidelities.
For many men, however, the idea is not very appealing, not even on a wedding day. (Now, don't expect any man to admit to this.)
As I have mentioned on many occasions, the elementary life plans of men and women, in as far as the concern sexual pleasure, do not match very well. And this disharmony probably is as deeply rooted in biology as sexual procreation itself.
This doesn't mean that in reality, there cannot be harmonious lifelong partnerships. They definitely are possible, but not because of matching sexual life plans, but rather in spite of the fact that the sexual life plans do not match.
For each sex, historically and contemporarily, has a considerable capacity for compromise. In many societies of past centuries, especially in Asia, wives had considerable tolerance for the sexual unfaithfulness of rich or powerful husbands, and this attitude of compromise kept marriages ongoing until the death of one of the partners.
No, I do not advocate on the advice-for-women pages of this site that our female readers display this attitude. I am very well aware of the fact that it is precisely this, what our female readers do not want to accept.
But what I want to point out is that humans have a capacity for compromise, males and females. So, on the advice pages for women, the topic is how we can bring men to compromise on their sexual life plans, which is to strive for multiple females.
Even though many women consider men generally uncompromising, the fact is that throughout history, men have heavily compromised on their sexual life plans, for practical reasons. I mentioned it in the initial paragraph of this article: men agreed to lifelong unions with one partner, compromising on their sexual life plans, because they needed a reliable partner to tackle everyday challenges of maintaining a household.
This indicates that those man-woman unions that are based on more than just sexual pleasure are clearly more stable.
Now, how to translate this awareness into something advantageous in today's world of small apartments, washing machines, central heating, convenience stores, and microwave ovens?
One modern option is to tie the male sexual partner into a joint business. For the more his livelihood depends on a joint business with his wife, the less likely he will be to risk the breakup of a relationship by having further relationships on the side.
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Copyright Sam Zanahar